February 1st, 2022

When you meet me, you get a strong, confident, loving person, Who articulates herself well, inspires people, takes pride in her appearance, and will tell you about a man named Jesus and how much he loves you.
That passion, zeal, and confidence didn’t always come so easy.

All my life, I was the chunky one of the group. Funny story, my granny put me in ballet, and we had the chance to dance in the Nutcracker production. If you remember the scene when Clara dances with the mouse king, all the little mice come out. Well, because I was one of the thicker mice, the crowd went wild. I was a mini-celebrity after the show was over.

I didn’t always embrace my size because, as you know, beauty is attached to how you look. I have what society deems ” good hair” for black women and get asked if I’m mixed all the time because of my features. I was often told that I would be so much prettier if I lost weight throughout the years. I even had a family member disclose to another family member that they didn’t like me because of my weight.
Or when I was six, and some kids and I were playing, and one little girl got too rough with us. When she hit me, I hit her back ( at 6, I didn’t know to turn the other cheek) So she went home crying to her father, who then came outside to yell at us. He turned to me and said to his daughter, ” Don’t cry over someone like her because she is fat and will never amount to anything. A window was open, and an adult heard what happened and called my mother ASAP. My mother handled the situation, but that event’s effects lasted for a while.

We hear this saying all the time ” sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” That is a lie from the pit of hell! Words are powerful. God spoke and poofed the world became, and all living things now exist. I noticed how the negative words spoken over my life, planted seeds of negativity, played a role in how I moved through life.

I saw the most significant impact when genuinely giving my life to Christ. How could I believe the things of the Bible when God says I’m fearfully and wonderfully made. The words from my past echoed louder than what the word of God said. I often wonder how many of us are struggling with the same thing? What if we took the time to allow the word of God to be the only truth-planted seed we let settle and grow in our hearts and minds.

Do you know how powerful we would be? Unstoppable! I know reading this, your heart sinks from the stories I have shared, but my friends, I’m here to tell you that this is a part of my story. We have any enemy who doesn’t fight fair and would want nothing more than us to be defeated. Some will experience his attacks late in life, and some earlier. He plans to deceive God’s children with lies, just like he did in the garden. He wants us to take the lies planted and allow them to grow into a thing that God didn’t call us to be.

It has taken me 34 years to love all of me, even the parts I deem unloveable. Love is a verb. Therefore, it’s doing something. God had to do surgery on my heart and mind by showing me he loved me. How, you may ask? by spending time in his word and even through random strangers. I cant tell you how many people over the years have walked up to me and said God wanted me to share with you how much he loves you and they repeat it over and over again. I had to do inventory in my heart and ask for forgiveness because I wanted to experience the full love for myself. How kind is God to send a stranger to express his love, I must be special. It’s time to walk and believe in that.

There is freedom and peace that comes with accepting who you are and who’s you are. If your like me and struggle with feeling loved and accepted, I pray that you surrender that to God and allow him to do the surgery on your heart and mind. Remember God makes no mistakes in anything that he does. He also can’t lie. So lean into the promises and the word that God has spoken in his word about you!

A song by Maverick City recks my heart every time I hear it, called I’m a Loved . Let the first verse minister to your heart, play it on repeat if you have to.

All that I am
All that I have
Is beautifully made by Your hands
There are no questions
There is no doubt
That you look at me and feel proud
You’re not embarrassed, you’re not ashamed
You stand in wonder of what You’ve made
I am loved, I am loved by You